“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it.” – Steve Jobs
I thought that volleyball was what my “great work” was going to be.
I still remember the first time I stepped onto a volleyball court for an organized team practice.
It was in seventh grade. School had just gotten out and I ran to the locker room to change. I was SO nervous and shy, but also excited.
I wasn’t very good.
I had never really played sports, so I wasn’t exactly a part of the “in crowd” and I didn’t really have a lot of friends who were also playing. (Years later, some of my best friends would come from volleyball teams.)
After that first practice, even though I sucked, I knew I belonged on the court.
Fast forward ten years: it’s September 2017 and I am playing college volleyball. But that spark… that excitement and passion isn’t there anymore.
I could feel myself starting to really lose interest early this season but it was hard to admit.
I have loved volleyball for so long, that it sort of became a habit and a part of who I am.
The abbreviated version is this: I thought volleyball was my passion until I realized I was waking up in the morning not only not excited for it, but wishing I wasn’t even playing.
For most of my childhood and all of my adult life, volleyball was my way to make friends, to workout, to travel, and to have something fun to do with the people I care about.
I still love watching the game, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not the thing that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning anymore.
During this past season, there were times I would call home crying, trying to get someone to convince me that I wanted to play and that I still loved it.
And sometimes that worked!... for awhile anyways.
I would get this spurt of motivation and excitement to be better and to make volleyball my focus.
But like the Steve Jobs said, my heart wasn’t in it and I knew it.
I was making excuses to convince myself to keep playing! I was settling for something I already knew how to do. There is a lot less risk in continuing something you are already doing to pursue something you haven’t ever done.
Volleyball season ended the last week of October and I was beyond relieved.
Not because of the coaches or my teammates or the time commitment playing collegiately required, but because I was no longer stuck doing something I wasn’t passionate for.
I want to thank everyone on the team for being such an incredible group to end my volleyball career with. I truly have had fun with this team and am so grateful for the friends that have come from it.
I want to share two videos that have really impacted me and that I think about often when it comes to dreams, passion, and love.
I hope that you always follow your dreams and pursue your true passions.
It’s okay not to know what you want to do right now.
It’s okay to love something and then change your mind!
Change your mind again and again!
Find what not only makes you want to get out of bed, but what makes you want to not go to sleep.
In the Pursuit of Dreams
Thanks for coming back for What I Learned in 2017- September/October! Check back tomorrow for my last post in this series! Catch up on January-August by scrolling down!